Understand Kinship Care Resources for Kinship Caregivers Vermont Kin as Parent (VKAP) Kinship Guardianship Vermont Foster/Adoptive Family Alliance

Foster a Child in State Custody Resources for Foster Parents Vermont Foster/Adoptive Family Alliance (VFAFA)

Vermont Consortium for Adoption and Guardianship website Adopt a Waiting Child in Vermont Vermont Foster/Adoptive Family Alliance

Kin Peer Support Support Groups for Adoptive and Guardianship Families Facebook - Vermont Trauma Lens Instagram - Vermont Trauma Lens For additional group connections, contact your FSD/DCF Resource Coordinator.

Deepening Connections with Kids through Play and Humor – Vermont Child Welfare Training Partnership

Deepening Connections with Kids
through Play and Humor

April 8, 2025

How Play Helps Kids Thrive

The science of child development points to three core principles that can guide what society needs to do to help children and families thrive. These include:

Supporting responsive relationships
Strengthening core life skills
Reducing sources of stress

Play is an effective way of supporting all three of these principles.

Five Types of Play

Rough-and-Tumble Play: Helps us control our emotions and learn physical and cognitive skills.
Ritual Play: Sports, chess, and other games that involve rules or goals.
Imaginative Play: Letting our imaginations run wild.
Body Play: Things like yoga, running, biking, or riding roller coasters.
Object Play: Legos, building forts, stuffed animals.

Adults Need Play, Too!

Play for adults is vital in our stressful, go-go-go lives.

Play has been shown to release endorphins, improve brain functionality, and stimulate creativity.

It can even help to keep us young and feeling energetic.

Gearing Up for a Storm

Building connections when everyone is happy and regulated is like putting on your rain gear BEFORE you go outside into a storm. Playing together helps you build and maintain a relationship that can withstand challenges.

How To Play When You Don’t Feel Like It

Mindfulness: Your presence without distraction is what matters
Action doesn’t have to be active. If they’re jumping and you’re talking, while you’re both laughing, they still feel like you’re part of the action.
You can be playful without playing: sit on the floor while kids play around you; read with funny voices; color together; let them dress you up.

Becoming Comfortable With Discomfort

Some adults don’t like to play. Honor how you feel now while knowing that you might discover a way to play that you do enjoy.
Whenever we learn a new skill, it feels uncomfortable at first.
Challenge yourself to spend a few minutes each day thinking of new ways to play, and actually playing, in those new ways!

Ways to Communicate Effectively Using Play and Humor

Create surprises and humor in the home environment and daily routines that keep kids feeling seen, heard, and motivated to be in relationship
Connect through wordless games, especially partnering games and activities throughout our days
Notice the child’s preferences, take an interest in their skills, interests, and hobbies, and build on sharing preferences even when they are different

Suprises Around the House

Put balloons in strange places
Googly eyes on things that shouldn’t have them
Upside down furniture or paintings
Food surprises (serve cupcakes for dinner)

Playful Preferences

“Choose my outfit day”: you get to choose what your kid wears and they get to choose what you wear (or do each other’s make-up)
Favorite music session: Each person in the house picks one beloved song for a dinner playlist and everyone listens together.
Make funny masks of favorite tv characters and have a conversation as the characters (or facetime a friend or relatives in character)
Notice preferred colors and add a little something with the color into everything you do with child that day.

Connecting Games and Wordless Partnering